People at the gym

Ever gone to the gym and wondered why some people are there? I mean, the obvious answer is “to work out”, but sometimes you have to wonder what their motivation really is. Tonight, I observed that a lot of people at the gym can generally be classified as one (or sometimes many) of the following personalities:

• Grunt – That’s the guy that you can hear, no matter where you are on the floor. Clearly pushing more weight than he should, Grunt will let out an guttural scream during each rep that makes it sound like he’s popped a hammy. In rare circumstances, you’ll meet Max-o-grunt, who can be heard even when you’re not in the same room.
• Jive – Ever notice the people that are bopping along to the music, or mouthing the words in the hope that no-one will notice? Well, that’s Jive for you. Not really a problem until they start singing out loud…
• Extendo – Everybody knows that stretching your muscle/s between sets helps you lift more weight. But Extendo takes that to the extreme, and seemingly has about 14 different stretches that you can apply for each different muscle group. Extendo’s ratio of streching to weight lifting is about 742:1.
• The Wanderer – This is the dude who is compelled to walk around as much of the gym as possible between each set. The Wanderer is easy to spot because he usually has his hands on his hips, and is meandering along at a snail’s pace. Often a mixed personality with Extendo, or The Observer.
• The Observer – Someone who seems to pay much more attention to what everyone else is doing, rather than concentrating on their own workout. Usually, The Observer is quite shy, and feels quite intimidated if you catch him checking out your routine.
• Social Butterfly – Those people that seem to think that visits to the gym are basically a social occasion. A classic Social Butterfly I overheard a few weeks ago was quite proudly telling her friends about the new Dr Phil video that she’d purchased – “Change yourself before you change him”. Sounds intriguing.
• Onshow – The guy that thinks everyone is watching him work out. Full of pride, wearing a singlet and tiny little AFL shorts. Onshow is often crossed with Grunt, and is the mortal enemy of Social Butterfly.

I’m sure there’s many more out there… but you probably get the idea.