Yesterday, I sufferred at the hands of a suspected bish poisoning. What is “bish”, I hear you ask…. well, it’s a term that was first coined by David Durham. You know when your fangin’ for a kebab, and you feel like some beef, and they offer you both beef and lamb? And somehow, magically, they’ve combined the two meats into the a single roll of meat? Welcome to “Blamb”. In the same vein, if you order fish, but you’re a bit suspect about it… welcome to “bish”.
Anyway, the story goes like this. Post moving Bender’s stuff on Sunday, we went for fish and chips at a place called Fish Online (who despite the name doesn’t have a website). Now, a little tip for all you kids out there – avoid the battered cod. Usually, I try to opt for the healthier option when I’m eating, but fish and chips is one of my weaknesses – I always get the battered fish. I was a little worried by the colour of the batter – even more so when I picked up the fish and the grease started running down my arm. But how bad can it be?
Yesterday I paid for that mistake. I had the worst stomach cramps ever. I walked into the chemist on my way to work, half doubled over with pain, and the lady wisely asked me, “Stomach pain?”. Clever. Armed with a box of Buscopan, I settled in for the long drive to work.
Unfortunately, the tablets did nothing to help the pain, and an hour after arriving at work, I decided that home was the best place to be. After another uncomfortable drive, I finally got home and rang Dr Suz. Her wise advice was to hit up the codine to relieve the pain – and thankfully I found some just lying around (it was in a pot on the coffee table). All dosed up on drugs, I felt better by about 1pm. Today – back on track. I’m sure Nelly’s roast chicken last night had something to do with it, too 
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I hope you settle in ok, and get used to the bugs again.
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