Things I WON’T miss

As many of you know, we’re moving house this weekend, over to Putney. We’ll be moving in with Julian and Shelley, who are already half way through the moving process (due to unfortunate timings with their old lease).

Anyway, as much as we’ve loved living here in Chiswick (of course, it was better when certain people also lived here), I thought I’d compile a list of some of the things that I won’t miss about our first home in the UK.

The bedroom window – For some reason, the window in our main bedroom doesn’t fit in its frame correctly, which makes it difficult to open. Instead of a nice and smooth sliding action, it chunders its way up, banging from side to side as it goes. Worse still, because it doesn’t fit its frame properly, it’s difficult to get it to stay open. There has been many a night when we’ve been woken up by the sound of it thundering down.

The bookshelves – We were so excited to have bookshelves when we first moved in; upon further inspection though, it turned out that said bookshelves lean on an angle of about 30 degrees, because the floor under them isn’t flat. Oh, and since they’re so open-ended, they’re not much chop at holding books, anyway.

The cupboards – Both bedrooms have seemingly huge cupboards, but looks are very deceiving! In the main bedroom, the cupboard is only about 20cm deep for about 60% of its length, which renders it mostly unusable. There’s barely enough room to hang all of Kristy’s clothes, let alone mine! The second bedroom doesn’t have built-in’s at all; instead, it has a free-standing jobbie with sliding doors that are impossibly difficult to open, so we can only store things in there that we rarely need access to.

The fridge – Though our kitchen is decently large, the fridge is a tiny non-frost free, bar fridge. The freezer frosts over within about three days of being fully defrosted, no matter how low we turn the temperature – oh, and it has broken off at the hinge, so when you open it, it comes off in your hand. Worst of all, the fridge door makes a very loud squeaking noise when its opened, rendering it impossible to sneak a midnight snack without waking the entire neighbourhood.

The shower – Our shower cubicle is separate from our bathroom, which is strange (though convenient). Even stranger is how noise-proof it is; once that door is closed, you can’t hear a thing from the outside world. It would be horrible if you’re claustrophobic. The pressure isn’t great either. It also features a cord which looks like a light switch, and inevitably everyone tries pulling at least once, only to find that it does absolutely nothing. At least, it does nothing that we can see…

The toilet – The toilet that was here when we first moved in took seven minutes to refill (no, I’m not exaggerating). That’s a long time between flushes. Certainly made for some interesting situations at parties. Due to an unfortunate leaking incident, it was replaced with a high efficiency model, which brought its MTTF down to a more reasonable one minute thirty. Unfortunately, the flush leans slightly too far on the side of water conservation, which means on mornings after a big curry, it’s safer to go for a double flush.

The third drawer in the kitchen – Yes, just the third one. All the other drawers open nicely, the rollers work well; but that third drawer is just pesky!

Yes, they’re mainly all little things, but as Bush pointed out, it’s the little things that kill!

Posted in general, uk
2 comments on “Things I WON’T miss
  1. Meegan says:

    Good luck with the move guys!

  2. bukbuk says:

    Ah, you Aussies just don’t understand the wisdom of the English in achieving efficient multifunctionality in our dwellings.
    The bedroom window- this also serves as a home gym and an alarm clock. Setting the alarm clock may take some practice, I grant you.
    The bookshelves- when watching Parliamentary debates on TV, one can stamp one foot on the ground and have a selection of books delivered for your perusal thus the term “stamping out illiteracy”
    The cupboards-this is just another misunderstanding of their function. For instance the free standing jobbie is obviously meant to be used as a time capsule where items you store are for future generations.
    The fridge – it actually is not a fridge hence the scientific term “bar fridge”.
    The shower – the pull switch turns on the hidden cameras.
    The toilet – in London, should always be flushed twice as it is a long journey to the curry houses for recycling purposes.
    The third drawer -mostly the English make do with only one pair of drawers

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