It’s rare that a movie contains a single line which does a perfect job of describing itself; in fact, 300 might be the only movie ever made which has a line that does precisely that. Unfortunately, when the line is delivered, they’re not trying to describe the movie; it’s actually said by the evil councilor to the queen of Sparta, regarding her “payment” to get him to persuade the council to go to war:
This will not be over quickly, and you will not enjoy it.
No, we did not enjoy the movie. We should have clued up when Xerxes made his first appearance as pretty much the most camp king that ever existed; but what really pushed it from “scraping by” to “one of those regrettable life decisions” was when they brought out a donkey who could play a recorder. Yes, really.
Credit where credit’s due; some of the action sequences were ok. But overall, this movie was such a letdown! gerrod.com rating: 2/10 – only because of how much the recorder playing donkey made Julian and me laugh.