England has quite the collection of murals of horses on hillsides, and the oldest of these is the Uffington White Horse. No-one seems to know precisely how old it is, but Wikipedia puts it at over 3,000 years! We ventured out on Saturday with Julian and Shelley to have a close-up look at it for ourselves.

As it turns out, the close-up look isn’t quite as impressive as the Google maps top-down approach, but it does give you an idea of just how big it is. Pretty big.

Right next to the white horse is Uffington Castle, however this one is a bit of a conundrum. See, all that actually remains of the castle is the site upon which it was built – a huge circular landmass surrounded by a ditch (most likely an old moat). But, there’s really no signs of anything actually having ever been constructed there. What’s more, apparently it wasn’t even a castle, but instead just a hill fort!

Still, a huge ex-moat-like-ditch can be rather entertaining, as Julian proved to us. See, he has this great trick which you can use to traverse from one side of a ditch to the other, by simply running down one side as fast as you can, and then expending your built up momentum to effortlessly ascend to the other side. Sadly for him, the uphill journey proved slightly steeper than he had anticipated, which threw all of his calculations off, and saw him running face-first into the grass. Oh, if only I’d been videoing…

While we were in the area, we also took a short wander down to Wayland’s Smithy – two words which when combined somehow mean, “old tomb”. Apparently there were 14 people buried in there, but they’ve long since departed (heh heh) and now it feels more like a man-made cave.

Truth be told, it wasn’t all that exciting, but the walk in the sunshine and fresh country air was delightful! The company wasn’t too bad either, though we had suspected that would be the case when we started out.

Believe it or not, the last thing on Lauren’s “to-do” list for London was to visit Ripley’s. Though I’ve never had a desire to go there myself, I’d be lying if I said that I’d never been a little bit curious. And, as Kristy so rightly pointed out, this may have been my only opportunity ever to go along with someone that actually wanted to be there. As such, I seized the moment, and tagged along.

(Un)fortunately(?) for you, I didn’t have lovely camera with me, and although I did have little camera, I had it on all of the wrong settings. So, we came away with barely any photos to show for ourselves – this rather grainy shot of me sitting in a unbelievably large rocking chair is about the best that you can hope for here.

The highlight of the visit – for me at least – was the gigantic mirror maze. We should have packed a meal before entering, because we got lost so many times inside that we almost had to camp overnight. Had we have had to turn to cannibalism to survive, I reckon I could have overpowered Lauren and at least had me some tea. Then again, she’s small and nimble, and being a university student, she’s probably quite crafty too; I’ve no doubt she has some tricks up her sleeve. Not that it mattered in the end, as we eventually found the exit; though it was only after we were foiled at least five times by re-finding the entrance – including once using my “guaranteed, fail-safe way of navigating out of a maze” (i.e. keep your right hand on the wall). Maybe it’s the left hand that’s guaranteed…

There was also one of those suspension-bridge-through-a-tunnel-surrounded-by-spinning-lights jobbies for the punters’ pleasure. Oh my goodness, it was so disorienting! I couldn’t believe how off balance it made us! It was only about five metres long, but that was more than enough – I was happy to emerge from the other side (albeit feeling a little sea-sick!).

I had expected that there’d be more displays that erred on the “not” end of the “believe it or not” scale – like more optical illusions, and things of that nature. But overall, the walk through was very entertaining, and there were a number of exhibits that extracted an “oohhhh!!” type of reaction from me. But, at the rather outlandish price of £20 to go in, it’s probably not something that I’d recommend to anyone who didn’t have it on their “to-do” list to begin with.

The Durhams have been nagging us to go to the British Museum since before we had even contemplated moving to London. In fact, it was before we had even thought of leaving Australia that they started harping on about it. Come to think of it, I think the very first thing that David said to me when we first met was, “Hi, have you been to the British Museum?”. They’re just that into it.

However, me having a general disdain for large crowds of people in enclosed spaces, I’ve always stayed away from the place, figuring the only real time I could get there would be on a weekend, when crowds would hit a peak. Well, not any longer! Julian (a long time fan) and I took advantage of a vacant Monday and trundled along there yesterday afternoon.

Holy pants, the booty they have in that place is impressive! As Julian put it so well (he’s such a good writer, you know):

The British are the greatest preservers (thieves) of world culture in history, and this is where they keep all their artefacts (loot): The British Museum.

Take this for example; possible one of the most significant finds ever, in the history of human-kind – The Rosetta Stone.

The Rosetta Stone! Sitting right there, in the middle of a hall full of other Egyptian crap items that the Poms picked up on a five finger discount sale! It’s all yours for the viewing, and it’s all for free!

It’s also massive; there was no way that we would have been able to see everything in one afternoon (not that that was ever a danger; my brain can’t absorb more than about 2 hours of museum information at at time). They currently have an exhibition called, “The History of the World in 100 objects”, so we endeavoured to see as many of those as we could. We got through about 20 of them.

This is one of the objects which impressed us the most. It’s a carving of two swimming reindeer, and it’s a mere thirteen thousand years old. How on earth they managed to carve out that level of detail with no doubt fairly primitive tools, is well beyond me. Did I mention it was thirteen thousand years old?

So now I can see why the Durhams are such big fans. It definitely warrants another visit.

Coincidentally, my first week off work overlapped with cousin Lauren’s second week of her visit to London! And so, we arranged to meet up on Wednesday and Thursday in order to tour around London together.

It wasn’t the greatest weather on Wednesday – cold, and light rain – but that’s almost every day at the moment! We met up at Harrods, and then headed out to Canary Wharf, where we had lunch with Nick, Fitim, and Andrew. Lauren was particularly impressed with Fitim’s Russain Albanian accent, even though I’m sure she had no idea what he was saying most of the time.

Next we headed over to Greenwich, and the origin of time itself – the Greenwich Conservatory. I figured that being there on a week day it would be empty, but unfortunately it was packed with school kids! We still managed to find a quiet corner to get some photos of the view, looking back over the Maritime Museum, and back towards Canary Wharf.

By this point the weather had turned truly awful, so we rounded off the day in Covent Garden, where I took Lauren to my favourite coffee shop, and then to my favourite pub. We split a bottle of Bulmers, and then one of Magners, and we both agreed that Bulmers tastes better.

We met up outside St Paul’s cathedral on Thursday morning, and walked across the Millennium Bridge to Tate Modern. The current exhibit is a giant shipping container (note its size compared to the people on the left), completely closed in at one end, with a ramp leading up and inside at the other end. The further you go inside, the darker it gets, to the point where you can’t see anything. Thankfully, the wall at the end is padded, so you don’t get a headache when you inevitably run straight into it.

We also did a tour of the Globe Theatre, which Lauren was disappointed to find out wasn’t the original Globe Theatre, but instead, the third globe theatre, built in the style of the original, as a tribute to Shakespeare. One of the schemes that they came up with in order to raise funds for construction was to engrave some of the pavers outside the theaters with the names of big contributors.

Apparently, John Cleese paid for both his and Michael Palin’s pavers, on the condition that Michael Palin’s name was spelt incorrectly. However, as it turned out, Michael Palin didn’t care – he ended up with a bigger paver, and he didn’t have to pay anything for it! Joke’s on you, Cleese!

After an extremely filling lunch at Tortilla, we did a quick lap around Borough Market, where I did the Durham-like duty of introducing Lauren to coffee! She managed to down her single-shot-latte, commenting that it “wasn’t terrible”. A few more shots of espresso before she leaves and we’ll have another addict!

Being a medical student, Lauren was very keen to see the Old Operating Theatre Museum; however since we were their only customers, I suspect they were more keen to see us! I tell ya, things were brutal back in the olden days – imagine having your tonsils removed by this, without anaesthetic!

Ouch!

The final outing for the day was a trip to The London Dungeons. I honestly had no idea what to expect from this, and was quite surprised at how scary it actually is! Most of the time it’s extremely dark, and there’s lots of creepy noises and things brushing past your face, to keep you guessing what’s coming next. I wasn’t sorry to walk into the gift shop at the end of our tour!

It was great checking out London with a newbie, as it’s always so refreshing to see things from a new perspective. Lauren’s in town until Wednesday so hopefully we’ll have a chance to see a few more sites this week before she jets back to Australia!

Check out more photos from our travels in the Touring with Lauren album.

We visited St Paul’s Cathedral in December to tick one more thing off the “to-do” list (and also to meet Kristy’s cousin Weezy who we haven’t seen since she came to London – but unfortunately she came down with a stomach bug!). I must admit that I’m a but “meh, one more cathedral” when it comes to seeing cathedrals, but you know – when in London and all that…

Turns out, St Paul’s provides the best view over London that I’ve seen to date! This is the view from the very top of the Cathedral (an area called the Golden Gallery, I think), looking southwest along the Thames, towards Southbank. You can see the London Eye in the background.

One thing that the view really drives home is just how flat the London Skyline is. This is looking northwest – The London Stock Exchange is in the building on the right of the big column statue thingy in the foreground.

There’s a few exceptions to the flat skyline though, such as The London Eye, Canary Wharf, and some of the buildings in the City of London, seen here:

If we get any more visitors, I think I’d have to recommend St Paul’s to them over the London Eye – though it does involve climbing a lot of stairs, so the Eye definitely wins on the accessibility front. Still, St Paul’s is cheaper (though just barely), plus you get to do a tour of the cathedral too, if that’s what humps your camel (skip the audioguide, it’s zzzzzzz).